This month’s tarot blog hop, run by the awesome Donnaleigh, is Ostara: Paint a journey with new life. I’d like to welcome all the readers from Koneta’s site at http://www.newpathstarot.com/.
I had a hard time coming up with a topic for this month’s blog hop. Ostara, is all about the return of the sun, Nature renewing herself in fresh scents, and a time for us to begin new projects. It’s about painted eggs (a group I used to belong to did pagan-flavored Ostara eggs), and bunnies and lots of blossoming flowers. However, the twist and issue came in what to paint as a journey. What am I painting that can be seen as a journey with life?
So, I pulled out my trusty Shadowscapes Tarot, meditated on this topic, shuffled, and drew The Moon. At first, I wasn’t sure what this card was trying to say to me, but as I sat with it and pondered both the image and the symbolism a small seed started to form. My mind kept going back to one small symbol appearing in this card. The mask that the woman holds in her hand. Currently, I am working with a beautiful mask in my spiritual practice. I felt that it was no coincidence that the two shall meet for this post. After all, masks are created, painted, and worn; and the blog hop topic is about painting a journey with new life. This idea also fits in with the name of my domain: tarot inspired life, and so I will share some thoughts about this mask, the journey I am on, and how it fits into this post.
Masks have always intrigued me, in their colors, their size, and the way we all use them. In a sense, the Tarot, as a tool for self reflection, help, and insight also has masks. Each card in itself is a mask, something that we can use and incorporate into our own being. The roles we play in life are also masks. I wear the mask of a writer, a tarotista, and an editor quite often. And now, I can also add to the list that I wear the mask of Lilith, as an avatar for Her voice.
Last September, a friend honored me by asking me to partake in a year-long goddess exploration. Each one of us received a mask made by the very talented Lauren Raine. I selected to walk the year with Lilith, a goddess who I have no experience with. Or so I thought. This group has 5 other goddessi (as I like to call us collectively). Each one of us wears a different goddess mask. This September will mark the end of my journey at Fall Equinox (which is Ostara’s opposite side) in a ritual of dance, song, and music at the Northwest Fall Equinox Festival here in Oregon.
Lilith, as I have come to know her, is a powerful goddess. She is very pro-individual and all about self-empowerment. She forces us to look deep within and accept and integrate the parts of us that are wounded and discarded. She has been said to be a patron for those who are adopted, discarded by society, or abused. I have been walking with her for 7 months and she has guided me into a deeper place of spirituality. She is like the woman on The Moon card of the Shadowscapes card: where she is holding her heart out for all who can see, and looking down at the mask in her hand as if she was talking, or communing with it. In the mask’s eyes, which we call portals, I see Lilith’s desire for me to know myself, to reflect on who I am and where I want to go in life, and attempt to grow and nurture those areas of my life with deeper meaning. For there is much in my life I need to reconcile whole into my being. The journey I am on, seems to have three stages.
During the first months of my journey with her, in what I call Stage One, I tried to form an un-biased opinion of who she was. I put on the mask, talked to Lilith, and made an altar. I thought about what I knew of her and what she could teach me. And once I came up with a starting point, then I started looking at books for more information. In the devotional, Lilith: Queen of the Desert, there were parts of it that fit almost too well, where it gave me the impression that Lilith HAS been by my side for a long time. It just took this moment in time for me to realize it, open up to the idea that I was hers, and learn what it means to have her by my side as I grow through life. This first stage ended with me teaching a class on how others could use the major arcana archetypes to uncover their own self-power.
Stage Two is diving deep into this journey. I have no idea what that is, other than looking within and dusting off the cobwebs of myself and my spirit, in order to reconcile my past so that I can know how to successfully take others through this journey when their times come. Meditation and Tarot have been my trusted tools in this journey. In doing this work, I’ve been meditating a lot. I’ve also been asking questions of the tarot and seeing the responses I get as being from Lilith herself. Like Rachel Pollack who likes to ask the Universe, and God, bigger-picture questions about the world we live in and how it was created, I use the cards to help paint a picture of where I need to delve into my core being next; to lift the masks concealed in my subconscious off the wall, and examine them, their texture, their symbolism and wear them so that I can integrate these masks back into the whole of myself.
Stage Three, I fear, will be the hardest thing for all of us on this journey. I only know it by the feelings of “release and let go”. I mentioned this last Wednesday when I saw three of the goddessi. This final stage will come after we have danced the ritual, to heal the divine feminine, and shared our stories with a larger community, and then… have to give the masks back. I am not looking forward to that day. When I have to wrap Lilith up in her clothes, and take her back to her owner. When that time comes, I have asked that our group hold space and a ritual to honor the time, our journeys… so we can honor the loss and grieving of the masks going home.
Until then, I will continue walking this journey: learning more about myself, my goddess, and what it means to be part of the feminine divine using the best tool I have…my Tarot decks.
The next stop on the blog hop is Marcia McCord’s site at http://www.marciamccordtarotreader.blogspot.com/. Thanks for stopping by.